2021.12.03 01:27 Hidemyface1 Santa Rampage Bike Ride Returns Saturday Dec. 4th
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2021.12.03 01:27 BigDabWolf [BDSP] FT: Cloned Shinies LF: Same
2021.12.03 01:27 weststo Who need Instagram or Snapchat hacked 🛒👻👻
2021.12.03 01:27 DPHollo I guess suffering is an important part of our lives
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2021.12.03 01:27 mekaulu1 Am I guilty for not practicing? I must warn you, it's a long story!
This may sound exaggerated or troll but it's NOT. Please take me seriously, I have no one else but my only best friend who is in another city, I don't have friends(yes I never felt like I needed but I guess I was wrong), all we could do is through calls and messaging. This is long but please bear with me.
I am 17 years old i sorta dropped out of high school(not sure how school system works with other countries, but in Turkey you can just go "home school" type of thing. Meaning you don't need to go to school, take lessons, just enter the exams, pass them and graduate.) for the sake of my life purpose, becoming a proffesional concert pianist.
Although, I only have been playing piano for a year and 2 months, I learned a lot, progressed a lot and sometimes practiced my fingers off to the point I caused an injury and it took 2 weeks to heal(I learned my lesson, day by day I got more and more experienced, researched and with time, now I can practice 8 hours per day and my hands feels just fine). You may think this amount of time is nothing to become a proffesional pianist. Yes, I totally agree with you but I worked a lot and my efforts was not in vain. Currently here I am, finished czerny etudes op 599, op 849, just started out with the op 740 and practicing Bach prelude & fugue in C minor. Yes, I finished all of the pieces in the czerny etudes mentioned above(except op 740, which I just started 3 months ago).
At first, a year ago, when I was only a beginner who just started out piano for hobby. Beacause I was suffering from severe depression, anxiety and trying to not jump out of my window(I am on 5th floor, it's really easy to die huh), there was nothing kept me alive but a mere hope that maybe, maybe I am not just a human but a person with dreams.
In my whole life had no dreams, I tried a lot of things, drawing(I suck at it so much that every drawing of mine turns into cursed art, in a sense it's a talent i guess), programming, I like it but it bores me a lot(I started programming when I was 13, I learned a lot, made simple but functional game engines from nothing but bare OpenGL and Win32 API and later on I open-sourced some of them, I made simple games but trashed them later, not sure why about that i guess I was just being an idiot), I read lots of and lots of books and I loved it to the point it is now an addiction and I HATE it, eventhough I still finish 2 - 3 books everyweek. I hate it beacause I can't stop reading eventhough it's not fun anymore but thats another story. I tried writing, it was plainly boring. I tried sports, I did judo for 5 years, I won some local tournaments, I have joined a lot of national tournaments too. I liked it alot, I liked my friends in judo, I liked practicing it but I did have the competition soul for this, so at somepoint I stopped judo althogether.
I surely did a lot of things but I never became proud of them. I am not sure why, I think it's because of my non-existent self-esteem and depression. My depression started when I was 14 and all of this happened between the age of 13-17. I did not noticed my depression until I was in 8th grade and when I noticed, my parents who did not even give a fuck about me except the basic parental things, my older sister that I never got close with. I only had my best friend at that time and I am very gratefull to him. I am not going to give my reaseons for why I became depressed here since I am not even sure why I became depressed. It started to become a chronic thing after a few years.
I reasearched, tried different things to get out of depression and one day I thought, maybe if I had a dream, goal or my "life purpose", maybe things will start to change. I tried programming harder, tried to improve my cursed drawing skills, read lots of books. Then I got into classical music, particularly piano. After a while I got my piano to make a start. 3-4 months later I decided to dedicate my whole life to piano(there was a lot of time in the quarentine that i wanted to just jump out and die but piano kept me here, it did not completely cured my depression but somehow I never felt the urge of suicide after this.).
So, here we are, you who know a thing or two about me and me who just decided to open up. I am no means a talented person or atleast I think in that way. A lot of the times, I ended up overworking. The only thing I did in the last couple of years was working, researching and trying out new things. Now, why am I here making you read all of this? Because I suffered alot and all of this suffering seems to be piled up. It was good before 2 months ago, I was practicing 6-8 hours a day, it's the most joyous thing I ever did. But I got ill, wasted an entire week doing nothing but reading books. I blamed myself for it. I should have taken care of my hair when I got out of the shower and it was cold outside. Well past is past... then just as I cured, I got ill again. I could not afford to waste my entire week again, in the past when I wasted a single day I felt guilt for a long time, and a week of WASTE of TIME is just something unforgivable... How can I waste my week, doing nothing when I wanted to become a concert pianist!? Other people, my rivals started practicing when they were only a child. They are far away from me. They are BETTER than me. So only thing I can do is, practice, learn how to practice better and practice more.
So I practiced 4 hours a day, it was not good, but it was the best I could do... or so I tried to think that way.... No it was miserable, I practiced 6 hours later that week, still it was not enough, I could do better, more.
I could not. I got completely fucked up later that week. I tried to go 8 hours did not work. Ok no biggie haha I can juıst go back to practicing 6 hours a day. Huh what I can't?. A month later trying to practice as much as I can, this week I cannot even practice. Like not even an hour. I have to but I just can't. My brain keeps telling me to practice and I want to practice but, you see, I just can't. I got this far, I tried to practice as efficient as possible to this day, I believe I did but my brain keeps telling me I did not. I could have done better, I could have practiced more. I could have been practicing this very second right now. But somehow, I just can't. I am sorry this took way too long. I have been crying alot in these days, I feel like my mind is not very clear. I just wanted to open up, you see, I have no one to open up right now. My best friend is going take his exams and it's very important to him. So I can't make him feel sad, take his precious time.
I feel extremely guilty of not practicing, I feel extremely guilty the days I wasted just because I "did not felt like doing it". I should have kept my emotions in, I should have disciplined myself better. I should have stopped reading books since they take 4-5 hours of my day. I hate this. I need more time to catch up but I wasted an entire month. I did practice this month but it was not efficent at all. I was stressed, trying to practice more, trying to develop a better technique, better touch, trying to catch up my future rivals...
I questioned a lot why am I like this. I don't know. If I look back, I have come a long way in such a short time that I could never imagine. I need help, a psychiatrist is not an option for me. I hate feeling guilty, I am worried that I may start hating piano beacause of this. I am worried for this long post, and people start judging me beacause of it. Even worse, people may not even read it and just skip it. Haha lol. Please, say something, bad or good.
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2021.12.03 01:27 Salty-Perspective223 Merch Order
I ordered some things from their website on the 25th. I bought the shipping with tracking added on. Where do I go to track it? I tried the DPD UK website but the order number code did not work.
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2021.12.03 01:27 glenn781 [FS] - San Fernando Valley, CA - $2 - Neocaridina Neon Yellow Shrimp CULLS
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2021.12.03 01:27 scullys-pet-fox We're not in the city anymore
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2021.12.03 01:27 Eleron-is-me The gEnIuS Future Historian
So, my friend in 7th grade with dreams of becoming a historian identifies as the following:
At the beginning of this school year I found out she didn't know all seven continents and I had to teach them to her.
And, though she was born and raised in the US, when I talked about America being a country, she legit asked, "America's a country? I knew the United States was but not America!"
Is failing multiple subjects
Forgets noteworthy things that happened hours beforehand.
This is just the beginning. -_- I love her to death tho so it's fine, we besties. It's just funny.
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2021.12.03 01:27 konatamonogatari Me visiting r/araragi only to see posts about Senjougahara winning: Confused ooga booga
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2021.12.03 01:27 unnamed887 Piha killer Discovery doco
Further documentary programming is also confirmed for 2022. Black Coast Vanishings is a true crime mystery series about the disappearance of six people in the small coastal town of Piha, that has divided the locals and given rise to fear and suspicion.
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2021.12.03 01:27 LetterheadExtension 3965 8148 8564 add me gifts and exp
2021.12.03 01:27 AbjectPipe8033 United We Stand - 2026 Midterm Elections
2021.12.03 01:27 aadhus got broken up with but at least got a blue rex today 😀
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2021.12.03 01:27 Monster-_- My roommate is 10 years younger but 10x more successful on Tinder than me, so I let him do the talking for my next match. This is what he opened with.
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2021.12.03 01:27 dubedube2 Who the hell is this Mike trout character from the subreddit description
2021.12.03 01:27 casualphilosopher1 Gepard GM3M 'Destroyer' 14.5mm anti-materiel rifle by SERO Industries, Hungary [619x1000]
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2021.12.03 01:27 Antzahrr am i the only one who doesnt have live camera update yet??
2021.12.03 01:27 ShrekHands Is it possible to bulk rename song Titles (Not the file name), so that it removes the first 18 digits?
Very specific question, but I have a ton of voice memos with the date/time at the beginning of the file name, followed by a description. I don’t want to change the file names (if so I’d use Bulk rename utility), because I need to have those dates. I just want to remove those front digits (18) from the “Title” in the metatags (the song title you see in iTunes or foobar for example).
Is this possible?
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2021.12.03 01:27 HometownJess Where can I watch all of the episodes in order?
Sorry if this has been asked before! I am totally clueless about this series but have wanted to get into it for a while. I started watching it on Netflix and it seemed really confusing and I realized it’s because it started at season 6. I’m not sure where to watch all of it or in what order since there seems to be a few separate series. Any advice would be appreciated.
submitted by HometownJess to winxclub [link] [comments]
2021.12.03 01:27 supremekingherpderp [USA-AR][H] Samsung 55in Smart TV with entertainment stand, PS4 Pro God of War Edition [W] Local Cash, PayPal
Model # is UN55JU6400FXZA Samsung 55in smart tv with floating stand
Nothing wrong with the tv and no damage. Plays fine, used for streaming and gaming, and I have used it for years. Just upgraded recently and would like to sell it. Asking $450 total for both the TV and stand. I don't have a truck/suv so you would have to it up.
For the PS4 Pro comes with original box and quick start guide. Includes God of War controller, controller charging cable, PS4 Pro GOW edition, original box, paperwork I have, power cable, and HDMI. Minor scuffs to the system and some damage to the box. I tried to take pictures of the damage areas of the box and scuffs on the console. Asking $500 shipped or $460 local.
If you have any questions feel free to ask. Located in NWA.
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2021.12.03 01:27 gloryhole-worker This song from 1955 and work hasn't changed.
2021.12.03 01:27 Rtollinchi The Shit Show Crew Maduro Lonsdale by AJ Fernandez, anyone try this stick from Privada November? I would like to know your thought on the cigar as I did not enjoy it.
2021.12.03 01:27 mandeelou What national or world events happened when you were in high school? I asked a teenager and he said "the Las Vegas shooting" and I was like... *but that's so recent.* And, huh...
It's interesting to think that even though we are all the same generation, our 'major events' are still spread out over decades. I think it's a really fascinating glimpse into a different time-line so I will share and I hope you do, too! I'm including what I see/saw as significant, so, no official parameters. No order, didn't check dates, just memory.
Freshman-Sophomore: Eminem debuts, Napster & AOL, Columbine shooting, Bush elected, Kevorkian trial, West Nile breaks, Y2K panic, Clinton impeached, the new millennium,
JunioSenior: my dad died of H1N1, 9/11, war were declared, DC snipers, priest scandals break, water found on Mars, Saddam Hussein captured, SARS, they find Elizabeth Smart, I got my first Nokia phone
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2021.12.03 01:27 Venomboy0928 My 1.18 server keeps crashing.